Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
