I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
