Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
