I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
