I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
