He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
