Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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