Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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