for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize