its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
