Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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