so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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