so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
