I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
