"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
