i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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