hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
