omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.