Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me