If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob