Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
I used to kick so much ass
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after