ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
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found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
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Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.