I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
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Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
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When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.