i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
that may or may not have been my penis.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize