I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
