Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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