I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So here I am, sexting at work.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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