I think I am morally bankrupt
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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