I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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