So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
