You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
