at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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