oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize