Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Randomize
