Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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