fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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