I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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