Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
