problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
