Me too!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize
