I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
