It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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