'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize