It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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