Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
