Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
