Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
