I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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