If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
