All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
