You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
