This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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