She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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