yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
