The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
