dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
