i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
