i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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