the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize