I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
