Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
