She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
