Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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