what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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