Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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