1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
