were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
